Adventures in Belly Dancing

There I was, sitting on my couch like it was any other Saturday, wondering, like most Saturdays... what was I supposed to do? I miss my marathon training days when weekends were pre-planned around a long run: go to bed early Friday night, long run Saturday morning (sometimes into early afternoon), post-long run socializing and re-fueling with teammates, then spending the rest of the day Saturday analyzing my Garmin file. I haven't been marathon training in two years, but still, I feel lost on most weekends.

Lost on the couch, I was unenthusiastically skimming Facebook when I noticed a post in a Facebook Group I belong to. The post was advertising an upcoming Belly Dancing class, but that's not what hooked me. What hooked me was the promise of a "strictly body-positive space, with no diet talk or body judgment allowed." Upon further research of this class, I found two key pieces of information that led me to my decision to join for all 15 weeks. First, there was this blurb on the website for the class, which reinforced the promise of a body-positive space:

One of the wonderful things about belly dance is the way it celebrates body diversity. Belly dance looks completely different, but equally good, on each woman’s body. Part of learning to dance is discovering which movements look good and feel right on your body as it is now. Focusing on changing your body hinders that process.

Your body as it is now. I knew knew almost immediately that I needed to take this class, if for nothing else than to explore what that meant. I've been on a sort of solo journey figuring this out. How do you suddenly accept and appreciate a body that you've spent so much of your life berating and trying to change? I thought maybe this class would be a step in the right direction.

The second deciding factor came in the form of a mutual Facebook friend with the woman who posted about the class. This mutual friend is one of the most dynamic, interesting, exotic and intriguing people I've ever known. She herself is a belly dancer, among many other talents, and a big passion in her life is dance. I asked this friend if she would recommend this instructor. Not only was her response about the instructor positive, but her enthusiasm at the prospect that I might do this was very encouraging. A few hours and one paypal payment later, I was committed!

I've since had two classes out of the 15-week series, and so far I love it. I'd like to document at least one lesson learned from each class -- and I'm not talking about how to shimmy (mostly because I don't really know how yet.)

Week 1: Get over yourself.
The first week taught me to stop being so judgmental with myself. I read and re-read and FAQ on the website about what to wear. I studied the group photos of students on the website to see what they were wearing. I was so nervous that I'd be the person who showed up to class wearing the wrong clothes. The general suggestion was to wear clothes that are form fitting, or that show the belly/hips, mostly so the instructor can see the lines of your body and help you adjust your movements.

I also bought myself a coin hip scarf from the instructor, you know, so I can hear what my hips are doing even if I can't see them (definitely more blog posts to follow on the actual "dancing"!) Form fitting clothes with a loud (literally) and shiny accessory? This basically goes against every fashion rule I have for myself, which is basically to wear loose clothing in muted browns and grays so I can go through life completely unnoticed. Once I was in the class, I didn't even care what I was wearing, or what other people were wearing. I was physically comfortable, and the coin scarf does actually help me learn the movements. What I thought would be so out of character and uncomfortable for me turned out to be just a minor detail in the grand scheme of things. How's that for a lesson that I can apply to everything else in my life?

Week 2: How to be Gracious. 
The second week of class taught me about being gracious, specifically in the form of doing curtsies. The instructor reminds us periodically about performance habits, since some of us might eventually be performing in front of other people. She told us how applause from the audience was their way of being part of the show, as well as showing appreciation for the performer, and that we are being rude if we don't acknowledge this appreciation with a curtsy. She equated it to being given a compliment from someone in real life. "When someone gives you a compliment, you smile and say thank you, right?"  Totally busted. I am horrible at accepting compliments. I usually dismiss the compliment, or tell the person why they are wrong to compliment me, etc. But now, through practicing the curtsy after each mini-lesson, I am practicing being gracious. I actually got to practice this lesson in a real-life situation this week. I was given a gift card at work by my boss for going above & beyond. I've only been there a month, and I don't feel 100% knowledgeable and productive yet, so the idea that I would be given acknowledgment for anything less than that felt wrong to me. I found myself starting to protest as she handed me the gift card, but I remembered the lesson, so I just smiled and said thank you. I don't think about smiling and saying thank you as something I need to practice, but until it becomes more natural, I will keep practicing.