Earlier this week, my co-worker and fellow Run For Research teammate Connie said that she remembered me talking about my training around this time last year. She said that I was saying things like, "I'm never going to finish the marathon," and "I wish I could give people their donations back." While I don't remember saying those things, there is no doubt in my mind that I said them. For the last 3 miles of today's 18-mile long run, I was convinced that there was no way I would ever be able to run a marathon. One would think that this thought would immediately be followed up by the thought, "Yeah, but you said that last year and you finished the marathon, so these doubts are normal, and you can ignore them." That would be logical, but logic don't live here.
The 2013 Boston Marathon, which is less than two months away, will be my fourth marathon. That means I've done three already. (I'm not talking down to you, dear reader, I'm talking down to myself. I'm a slow learner. Sometimes I gotta take baby steps.) It's safe to say that three times before today, I've had thoughts that I wouldn't be able to finish whatever marathon I was training for. Actually, my second marathon -- the Vermont City Marathon in Burlington, VT in May 2003 -- I didn't even intend to finish. My cousin Emily and I signed up for Vermont City in the hazy honeymoon period following our first ever marathon finish at Chicago in 2002. Then, you know, it was winter. And we were lazy. And we'd already checked off the "run a marathon" box. But we were also cheap, and we'd already paid the entry fee. We'd at least go to get our free t-shirts. Ok fine, so since we're there, we'll at least start the race. The race did a cloverleaf through the Start/Finish area, so we could have dropped out at mile 3, 9 or 15.5. At mile 15.5, we thought "We've already done 15.5, what's another 10.7?" Like I said, logic don't live here. As it turned out, I ended up beating my Chicago marathon time by about 13 minutes. I decided to celebrate by taking the next 6.5 years off of doing any kind of physical activity. I don't recommend that.
My third marathon, last year's Boston Marathon, felt like my first in a way, since I had basically learned to start running all over again (chronicled in my Couch to 5k blog.) Due to the extreme heat on the day of the marathon though, my time was slower than my previous two marathons. If you're curious, here are my times:
Chicago Marathon, October 2002 -- 5:47:15 (13:15 pace)
Vermont City Marathon, May 2003 -- 5:33:40 (12:44 pace)
Boston Marathon, April 2012 -- 6:08:00 (14:02 pace)
My goal for this year's marathon is to beat 5 hours. That was my goal for last year as well, which I scrapped a few days before the marathon due to the heat. After a run like I had today, I don't think that beating 5 hours is possible, but I am also acknowledging the fact that it doesn't really matter what I think today. The marathon is 8 weeks away, which means I have 8 weeks to do the work and not let my brain get in the way. If I don't beat 5 hours, then I'll still have completed four marathons and will just carry on with life. I could always focus on the 6 triathlons that I've signed up for this spring & summer. Hey now, there's a good distraction! Yay Triathlon!
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